human: *is heating up food*
alien: why are you doing that?
human: you see i want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency
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Human: *is eating ice cream*
alien: wait you forgot to make that one vibrate!
human: well, you see, not with this food
This one is already vibrating at he desired frequency, but if it starts to vibrate at a higher frequency I lock it back in the cold box.
Human: *just reheated pizza in the oven*
Other human: *is eating a slice of the same pizza, but cold*
Alien: *exasperated sputtering*
Human: shots! shots! shots!
Alien: this liquid has negligible nutritional value and, furthermore, contains some molecules that I believe are poisonous to your species.
Human: …look, sometimes we just like to gather in social groups and disorient ourselves
Human: *grabs a packet of ramen*
Alien: Based on my research of your species, you shouldn’t be able to consume that without suffering heavy detriment to your human body.
Human: …look man, I’m in college. I can barely afford this house with roommates. Let me appreciate this 50 cent block of sodium ridden noodles.
Alien 1: The human consumed this harmful “ramen” because it is affordable. I saw many others consuming unhealthy but affordable foodstuffs from a place called McDonalds. Based on this, I think we can reasonably assume that all foodstuffs that are unhealthy are also affordable, and that humans will slowly die off because of their economic system.
Alien 2: I visited a different land mass. There were several humans called “sushi chefs” preparing raw fish foodstuffs. The most expensive was made from the carcass of a poisonous blowfish. It was very popular among the wealthy humans.
Alien 3: The land I visited had no nearby places to engage in commerce to trade precooked food. I interviewed a family that trapped and killed animals for dinner. They ate venomous rattlesnakes.
Alien 1: *throws clipboard in the air and storms off*
[Human casually munches peppers]
Alien: According to my scans, that organic matter contains highly corrosive chemicals. Are you sure you should be consuming it?
[Human chokes]
Alien: Human! Are you injured? Do you require assistance??
Human: Ahahaha no no I’m fine, it’s just *snicker* these are just jalapenos!
Alien: ……….request clarification?
Human: I usually go for habaneros, man. Hell, I have a buddy who took two bites of a ghost pepper on a dare.
[Alien consults space Google]
Human: ………Hey man, you okay?
who decided popcorn was the official movie food
I actually have a serious answer for this.
Popcorn was such a cheap but highly popular in demand food, and people loved it as a treat because it was fast, buttery, and salty. While a lot of other businesses at the time were failing because of the Great Depression, the business for production and sale of popcorn thrived because it was so cheap and popular. When WWII came around, other snacks and candies became harder and harder to obtain due to strict rations during wartime, which only encouraged the production and sale of popcorn to compensate. Which… no one seemed to mind. It was a tasty treat everyone loved, and it helped out agricultural businesses and so much more.
In any case, popcorn became the official movie food because movie theatres, just like many other business venues during this particular era, weren’t really doing so well with as tight as things were. And with the popcorn business booming and its huge surge in popularity, movie theatres took advantage of the opportunity and started selling this tasty treat as concession. Not only did the sale of popcorn in movie theatres encourage people to come and buy movie tickets, but the concession sales for popcorn just by itself was enough to keep theatres in business.
Basically, popcorn is the official movie food because the popcorn industry is what kept the movie industry afloat by keeping theatres and the demand for cinema alive.
how to food history
no offense but money would solve literally every single one of my problems. like all of them. i dont have a single problem that money wouldnt immediately solve
i just want chinese food. why is that so hard…..cuz money thats fucken why uugghuhhhhhgghhhhhuhhuhuuuuuuuughghjhjhjhh
ok if that aint a mood idk what is
recipe blogs are so exhausting. please dont say words at me just let me make my food in peace
Feminine textures
there’s a big difference between “food waste” as in “farmers destroy tons of food to avoid exceeding quotas” or “supermarkets throw away this much edible food because it doesn’t sell”
and “food waste” as in “it is not actually within the capacity of humans to perfectly predict and track household food consumption, so a certain amount of food per household inevitably goes bad and has to be thrown out every year”
What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless
FOOD
- Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food
- grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread
- different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.
- some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit
SHELTER
- Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment
- sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it
- Some churches offer short term residence
- Find your nearest homeless shelter
- Look for places that are open to the public
- A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry
HYGIENE
- A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.
- Public libraries have bathrooms you can use
- Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.
- Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver
- Local beaches, go for a quick swim
- Some truck stops have showers you can pay for
- Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet
- Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket
OTHER
- first aid kit
- sunscreen
- a travel alarm clock or watch
- mylar emergency blanket
- a backpack is a must
- downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards
- sleeping bag
- travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror
- swiss army knife
- can opener
Reblog to literally save a life
if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles
Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.
Save a life reblog
Cold weather tip - put antiperspirant on the bottom of your feet to stop your feet from getting cold even though your socks are clean and you’ve only had them on a few hours - your feet still sweat when it is cold - putting on more socks isn’t always the solution. Think like a soldier - take care of your feet, keep them dry and clean if you can.
Carry baby wipes with you to wipe off sweat and keep yourself smelling fresh longer.
Also Wal-Mart may not be your cheapest source of supplies or food.
And in the US, you can apply for food stamps even if you’re homeless.
things you shouldn’t feel guilty about:
- enjoying food
- feeling full
- eating more than someone else
- taking a second serving
- eating until you are full
- nourishing your body
- not liking a certain food
- eating a food for its taste, not its health benefit
- food in general
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
THANK YOU
5:00: oh boy Chinese food
5:05: I ate way too much Chinese food
5:10: oh boy leftover Chinese food
Fun fact: There is no scarcity of food, water, or housing. It’s just distributed excessively to certain people.
I beg to differ but okay…
Nah, it’s true. Just off some quick research, rich countries waste 222 million tons of food per year, which is nearly equal to the amount Sub-Saharan Africa produces in a year. (Source)
In 2009 everyday in the United States, leaking pipes lost an estimated 7 billion gallons of drinking water. (Source)
And in also in the United States, in February of last year, there were about 3.5 million homeless people, yet 18.6 vacant homes. (Source)